The gift of Relationality in the Christian Community

The gift of relationality as an essential part of discipleship has taken a bit of a bashing over the past 24 months with the global pandemic and the growing domination of human time and energy snaffled up in online consumption. I confess that I have watched more streaming tv shows in the last two years than ever before, so this is a reminder to me, as much as a sharing of ideas and convictions.

I would like to encourage us all to re-focus on the gift of relationality and the gift of this within Christian Community.

A relationality when expressed in the gathering of people, with God in worship, witness and service can be life-giving and transformative for the good of all. Jesus Christ calls and sustains relationships into a community of being, becoming and mission, this is known as discipleship.

I recall looking back before the pandemic; taking much inspiration from many influential voices like; Miroslav Volf’s work After Our Likeness (1998), Covenant, Community and the Spirit: A Trinitarian Theology of Church, Robert Sherman (2015). Plus, many Fresh Expressions and Emerging Church voices of the last two decades; many holding a significant focus on the importance of the community of God. The Trinitarian inspired mutually shared life also known as perichoresis, in which we share in relationality with one another and God. I affirmed the conviction that the Christian Community is called to the vocation of the common good to reflect Christ’s high moral calling to love… God, neighbour, enemy and self.

Through orientating and practising this way of Christ, it informs a way of living that is open, loving, justice-seeking and generous. I strongly believe that the Christian venture that Jesus of Nazareth initiated within first century Judaism and spread to the whole world, marked with Baptism, is a work of God, an expression of the body of Christ relationally orientated for the salvation and blessing of all creation.

I am keen to affirm that there is something to this gift of relationality within Christian Community that is worth remembering, treasuring, and celebrating. Not as some self-affirming biased tribe, but because the deep art of Jesus inspired relationships that are shaped by grace, love, hope, justice and forgiveness are transformational. This kind of relationality practices the who we are created to be in God.

The Christian community is the place of this kind of relationality practice. Christian community, grounded in the Scriptures, learning from tradition, understanding with reason and honouring our experiences of God, all in relationship with each other, all contributes to the ongoing forming of Christian life. The relationships within the Christian community form a Christian identity which can gift humanity with a deeper purpose in participating in the mission of God for the reconciliation and renewal of all creation.

Speaking of Identity, there are countless studies linking identity formation to tribal, community, social, economic, and environmental contexts. In The Saturated Self: Dilemmas of Identity in Contemporary Life (1991), Kenneth Gergen articulates three contextual identities formed by culture. He suggests that prior to the 1900, identity was often marked by a deep commitment to relationships, dedicated friendships, and life purpose in predominantly Western societies. This identity was idealised as a person of moral character, taking personal actions and willing to accept the consequences of one’s behaviour. The inner core of such a person was marked by passion and volatility. During the 1900s Gergen notes the emergence of the modern self. This identity was governed by reason and machine-like development of identity and personhood.

Volatility became a mental issue and passions became the harnessed power directed by rationally based education, religion and institutions for productivity ends. Gergen goes on predicting a postmodern identity. Noting that forms of mediating technologies could contribute to the lack of a development of an inner core. Facebook or Instagram illustrates this; where fragmented curations of self-projection elements become dependent on feedback to affirm identity. On top of that, the consumer-oriented society has shaped identities to maximise social exchanges to gain network access to assist personal/financial security and development. This shifts relationships to become increasingly instrumental and downplays the socioemotional aspects of human relating.

A decade later, Gergen, affirms the urgency of relationality in his book Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community saying, “Whatever value we place upon ourselves or others, and whatever hope we may have for the future, depends on the welfare of relationship.”

Even before all the pandemic challenges, the art of relationality in developed countries (like within Australia) has struggled. In Christian communities, the one place that one would think that relationality would thrive has struggled to engage beyond the powerful forces of modern and post-modern identity formation.

Brene Brown with the power of vulnerability and the re-assurgency of emotional intelligence is a corrector to some of this, with it’s re-valuing of empathy, belonging and love. But the question remains, where is this practised well? I am yet to see the workplace do this well beyond the consumer-productivity base-line for success and growth. The other thing to note is the booming wellbeing industry, commodifying the need rather than creating a mutual relationality of care and compassion, sharing of ideas and life stories, and seeking and investing in each other’s development as humans (and as people of God).

Anecdotally, I find social media is now captured by the supremacy of market-driven opinion (often playing to individual fears using complex algorisms) in the exploitation of human vulnerability to grow influential networks, individual gain and marketing opportunities. The art of being, becoming and relationality may exist in small corners, but in the main, for many, such platforms are no longer safe places to be vulnerable and human.

The challenge for Christian communities is to know that some of our leadership and communities colluded with such exploitive practices. To regain the gift of relationality requires a re-covenant to a Jesus (Trinitarian) shaped relationality again and again and again.

I do believe Christian Community is one of the places we can practice relationality for relationality’s sake. Christian community should be inspired by Jesus’ deep call to relationality as witnessed within the Scriptures. Jesus takes time to be friends of sinners, those who have lost family, refugees, and outcasts (because of poor health and/or social taboos).

The Emmanuel, “God with us” in Christ, the incarnation of God physically present is God’s affirmation of divine-human relationality with peace and goodwill to all.

I do hope and pray that you and I and all of us can all invest in relationality, taking an active interest in the other and experience the joy of being, becoming and participating in the wonder of the gifts of God in life and love.

In the spirit of relationality. Hello. I look forward to sharing life with you and you with me in the seasons of life ahead and encourage you to share life well with those around you with love, grace, justice-seeking and hope.

Rev. Ben Gilmour
Director, Vital Leadership