Becoming Yourself

When am I finally me?

I was intrigued recently when a friend who is normally a very stressed, fast-paced and driven kind of person told me that she was reading a book by Cal Newport on slowing down in life. I’ve been following Newport for years now and this friend has just discovered his books that reflect on living a productive life of focus instead of distraction, savouring rather than skimming, depth rather than speed. My friend is in her 60s and was telling me about what an awakening she had reading the book and regretted that she had not read it earlier.

I thought about that for a while and wondered: Would she have been ready to hear the message of slowing down when she was younger and more driven?

I think messages come to us-and they are sacred moments- just at the right time. It’s pointless to wish we had learned things earlier in life. I don’t think we’d be ready to hear them. In the case of my friend, I suspect that she is slowing down with age and is ready to hear about what life can be like lived with less speed and more depth. So the book was a revelation for her- just what she needed to hear right now. At the age of 40 the book perhaps might have seemed to her irrelevant or a barrier to living life to the full.

It made me think about becoming.

When do we become who we are?

We shall not cease from exploration / And the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time.
—T. S. Eliot, Four Quartets 

I like this quote by T.S. Eliot because it speaks about returning to ourselves- to the same place but transformed through the journey of life. And as we return to ourselves over and over we know and become ourselves as if for the first time.

I watched the film Run Lola Run (1998) again recently and this is what happens to the main character Lola who lives the same story three times. Each time she learns something different about herself and her environment. She becomes wiser, sharper and transformed- the same person but different. She now knows herself better.

When do we become ourselves? We are always becoming- we never cease our exploring and this takes a lifetime.

Mary Oliver writes disarmingly;

Things take the time they take. Don’t worry.

How may roads did St. Augustine follow before he became St. Augustine?

How many roads did you follow before you became you?

Rev. Dr Karina Kreminski, Mission Catalyst – Formation and Fresh Expressions, Uniting Mission and Education. Karina also blogs, this article is reprinted with permission from This Wild and Precious Life.