When I was growing up, keeping promises was very important in my family. If you promised to do something, or not to do something, you absolutely had to keep your word. And that applied to mum and dad as well as to my brother and me.
It wasn’t until I was about 10 years old that I learned that other people didn’t see it that way. I was playing with a group of other children, and one of them promised not to hit me, and then he did. Very taken aback, I exclaimed “You promised” and he shrugged his shoulders as if to say “no big deal.”
I still remember my sense of disbelief and absolute betrayal. I learned then and there that other people did not see promises as having any special significance. They were words, just words.
When I came into adolescence, I made and broke my own promises: “I promise I’ll do my homework tomorrow if I can go out tonight.” “I promise I’ll phone you tomorrow.” And so on. At that time, I thought that promises were more like negotiating strategies rather than ways of sustaining and strengthening my relationships of trust with others. So failing to keep them was “no big deal.”
And of course, in adulthood, I too was deeply hurt, no, devastated, when heartfelt and sacred promises from intimates and close friends were broken, and in my turn, I also carelessly hurt and devastated others.
Then came the 1996 Federal elections when politicians in general made promises to undertake all kinds of projects, many in the areas of social justice and dear to my heart. The newly elected Prime Minister then reneged on certain assurances, which he called “non-core” promises which he abandoned in favour of keeping the “core” promises. What really dismayed and angered me was the PM’s response to public criticism – that we in the electorate should have known which were core and which weren’t before we cast our vote!
I came to recognise that this refusal to take any responsibility by many of our political, social and community leaders has contributed to the lack of trust I see everywhere – how can we trust each other if our promises, our assurances on the issues that really matter now can be swept aside as if they mean nothing?
What does it do to our relationships of trust with each other – in our families and our community, let alone amongst nations? Our sense of disillusionment and despair has become widespread, and has spread into the church, where plans and projects lapse, and attendance declines. As the singer Peggy Lee asks mournfully, “Is that all there is?”
We might also wonder if God has “core” and “non-core” promises. If you google “God’s promises,” you can see the number of times that God’s faithfulness is attested to by the psalmists, prophets, gospel writers and disciples. Protection, steadfastness, comfort, peace, forgiveness, life eternal… the list goes on. No “non-core” brush-offs in those lists!
There are many instances in the Old Testament when through the prophets, God warns the Israelites to mend their ways or else tragedy will befall them. Are these “core” or “non-core” promises or warnings? Yet though the people fail to obey or honour the Creator and are conquered, exiled or dispersed, God persists in seeking relationship with them. God makes renewed promises, solemn deeper agreements, restorative covenants, with Noah, Abraham, Moses and David on behalf of his chosen people. Definitely “core” promises!
God has kept his promise to humanity, shared with Jeremiah and Isaiah amongst other prophets, and the Word becomes flesh. The New Covenant provides grace and salvation for all through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Not a “non-core” or “core” promise: as Paul writes, “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.” (2 Corinthians 1:20 NIV).
The Advent themes of Hope, Peace, Love and Joy remind us of the faithfulness of God’s promises to all humanity. Here lies the hope that we seek in our despair, the peace that we yearn for in such troubled times, the eternal love that welcomes us in our brokenness and the joy which inspires us to sing in gratitude as we remember and celebrate together the coming of the Messiah.
What is it about God’s promises that keeps you believing?
Marilyn Walter is a lay worship leader in the Wagga Pilgrim Uniting Church, Glenfield Park.
This article appears in the latest edition of Ruminations and is used with permission.
