Content Warning: This article contains discussion concerning coercive control, abuse, and murder. Reader discretion is advised. It also contains spoilers for the television shows Under the Banner of Heaven and Fake.
Under the Banner of Heaven is a miniseries that explores the brutal murder of Brenda Wright Lafferty and her 15-month-old daughter, Erica, on 24 July, 1984. It is based on the book of the same name by investigative author Jon Krakauer. The book and the miniseries juxtapose two histories – the murder, committed allegedly in the name of God by brothers Ron and Dan Lafferty, and the early years of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS Church).
The murder took place in the heart of Mormon country, in American Fork, near Salt Lake City, Utah. Brenda Wright was married to the youngest Lafferty son, Allen. Ron and Dan were the eldest two sons of six. Brenda was known as an attractive woman, having won a college scholarship from the Miss Twin Falls, Idaho, beauty pageant. Her studies at the University of Idaho, the College of Southern Idaho, and Brigham Young University led her to broadcast journalism. Friends and family knew her as an intelligent, devout, and caring woman.
The series presents the Lafferty family as a powerful conservative Morman family. The parents, Ammon and Doreen, ran a Chiropractor business and a farm. A Mormon family steeped in religious and cultural patriarchy.
Fake is an Australian miniseries based on Stephanie Wood’s book, recounting her real life experience of dating a narcissist and con man for over a year. Having met on a dating site, their romance was dramatic and swift. Joe (not his real name) was a prominent architect turned grazier, exceptionally wealthy, with a home on Sydney harbour where his ex-wife and two children now lived. After numerous cancellations, strange excuses, and things just not adding up, Stephanie, named Birdie Bell in the series, ended the relationship.
Stephanie then investigated him and quickly discovered that everything about him was a lie. Joe was bankrupt, unemployed, was seeing other women, and using his children to prop up his lies about his family life. Eventually Stephanie would meet one of the other women, whom Joe was seeing the entire time they were together, only to find that the exact same patterns of behaviour were playing out with her as well.
These two shows describe patterns of coercive control, generational control and delusional thinking that negatively affects the women portrayed.
Coercive control utilises abusive behaviours to coerce or control another person. From the 1st July 2024, coercive control is a criminal offence in New South Wales when used against a current or ex intimate partner. Many types of repeated patterns of physical or non-physical abuse can be used to scare, intimidate, control, hurt, and threaten others.
Under the Banner of Heaven demonstrates a number of ways in which the men of the Lafferty family exercise coercive control over the women in their lives.
After Allan and Brenda are married, he demands that she no longer works in broadcasting. Other wives are treated as second class citizens and expected to submit to their husband’s and/or father’s wishes and decisions. As the older brothers Ron and Dan are increasingly influenced by fundamental Mormonism, this extends to believing that they shouldn’t pay taxes, and in the right of men to marry multiple wives. Brenda assists Ron’s wife Dianna to leave him after he beats her. The two of them write to the senior officials in the LDS Church. Ron is ex-communicated for his anti-tax stance and for beating her. Dan is ex-communicated for wanting to take his two underage step-daughters as plural wives. The women are restricted in their ability and choice of work, isolated from others, become financially dependent as they have no income of their own, and can be physically abused if the men decide it is warranted. It is a patriarchal power dynamic.
In Fake, the coercive control is exercised in a very different way.
Joe starts the entire relationship with lies about who he is, his job, and his marital situation. He consistently fails to keep commitments and has elaborate stories about why he is unable to make it, drip fed in snippets to ensure that Birdie is left anxious and uncertain about what is going on. When she questions him, he turns the tables and gaslights her, saying it is Birdie who is not showing love, and is creating the problems in the relationship. He is slowly isolating her from family and friends, and financially abusing her when he demands that she use her credit card to pay for expensive things or to try and gather large amounts of money for their dream home because his finances are frozen. This form of coercive control is reliant upon deception.
The generational control in the shows is not only within the family. There are aspects of spiritual abuse from older people within the church who wield power over the lives of others.
Ammon Lafferty refuses to take his children to the doctor or have medication. He also killed the boy’s dog as a punishment when they failed to complete some chores. This kind of abuse means that the sons all suffer trauma. When Ammon is sick as an elderly man, Ron refuses to call in the doctor as it would not be spiritually right. The cycle of abuse has turned back on the perpetrator.
The LDS Church also perpetuated abuse on women. When Brenda is finally given an audience with some of the elders, she expresses her concerns about Ron and Dan’s extreme fundamentalist beliefs and behaviours, as well as the growing influence they were having on her husband. Allen had already hit her and she was seeking a divorce. Instead of protecting her, the elders charged her with a special assignment from God. She was going to be the one that saved the Lafferty brothers. By forcing her to stay in the abusive relationship, the LDS Church contributed to Brenda’s murder.
In Fake the generational control is seen in Birdie’s mother. Throughout the show, almost every conversation between the two is one where the mother belittles, puts down, gaslights, dismisses, and undermines Birdie. Everything from not being able to make the tea correctly, to what she wears, to her choice in men, to rescheduling events that Bridie has organised. This abuse resulted in Birdie suffering from severe anxiety and depression, making her a more vulnerable target for Joe’s advances and behaviours.
The highly problematic, even delusional thinking, that underpins the abusive behaviour is also expressed in different ways in the two shows.
Ron Lafferty had been told by his mother that he was special and would do great things for God, despite being constantly overlooked by his father. When a visiting “prophet” tells Ron he is the “One” who will receive the special revelations from God for the Mormon church, Ron believes him. Ron begins to claim that he has special revelations from God, including “blood atonements” and a list of four people who are to be killed for preventing God’s plans to move forward. Brenda and Erica are the first two on the list. His “God complex” meant that two individuals were murdered and Dan would never repent because he believed that he had done nothing wrong.
Joe, on the other hand, had a “hero complex”. His excuses for constantly missing commitments were riddled with him saving the day. This included a completely fake account of rescuing a boy from drowning and the parents wanting to take him out for dinner as a thank you. He would also lie about sacrificing his own need for love for the benefit of his children. He always wanted to sound like a hero, to ensure Bridie wouldn’t question the circumstances.
Now that coercive control has become a crime for intimate and ex-intimate partners in NSW, the Uniting Church may need to do some further reflection about what care looks like in these situations. Beyond Violence, the UCA’s resource on domestic and family violence (DFV), came out as a response to the 2018 15th General Assembly. It is a good overview of theological thinking, social analysis, and denominational response to DFV. While it doesn’t mention coercive control explicitly, many of the behaviours it does explore are aspects of it. The opening paragraphs of the theological reflection are a good starting point and are well worth remembering:
All people are created in the image of God and are known and loved by God. Every person is of infinite worth and entitled to live with dignity. Each person’s life and humanity need to be protected or the human community and its reflection of God’s vision are diminished.
As Christians we base our values on Jesus, who in his life and ministry loved and respected all those he encountered – of all genders and ages. We recognise Jesus’ specific care for people who were powerless and those who were vulnerable.
Our commitment to the equality of men and women and respect for all people underlies our rejection of any form of violence.
If you are interested in finding out more about coercive control, Common Grace will be running a series for 16 Days of Activism (25 November – 10 December 2024) called Confronting Coercive Control: Equipping Christian community to recognise and respond.
If this piece brings up issues for you, help is available. The following support services can help.
- 1800 RESPECT national helpline: 1800 737 732
- Men’s Referral Service: 1300 766 491
- Lifeline (24-hour crisis line): 131 114
- Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277
Under the Banner of Heaven is streaming on Disney+ and Fake is streaming on Paramount Plus.
Dr Katherine Grocott
- Categories: Features, Stream Now
1 thought on “Grappling with Coercive Control”
A difficult topic to write about. Handled well. Thanks Katherine.