Wrath of the Titans

(M) Warner Home Entertainment DVD/BD/Digital Download

If you recall the abysmal effort that was Clash of the Titans (2010) then you will probably agree that it shouldn’t have been hard to improve upon. So do they do so with Wrath of the Titans?

Not really, no.

The good news is that Sam Worthington seems to have finally decided on one accent this time. Sounding British was obviously entirely too taxing for him. However, like him, I am Australian and I still can’t seem to understand half of what he says. Not that it matters. They’ve obviously scrimped on the screenplay again, so anything we do hear is … uninspiring, to say the least.

To sum up this movie in a couple of words: “daddy issues”.

Zeus (Liam Neeson) and Hades (Ralph Fiennes) have had Kronos, their “father” (I use the term loosely, and with good reason) entrapped so that he won’t wreak havoc across the earth. But — oh no! — People have stopped praying to the gods and, as they lose their power, Kronos grows stronger.

Hades, still mad at Zeus (and you thought your family had problems), plays a game of “will he, won’t he?” as he turns on his brother, siding with their father out of what he claims is logic, but we all know is really spite.

Kronos (played by a swirling mass of CGI) wants to destroy everything he created … there’s some logic for you. He is big, impersonal, and certainly won’t win Father of the Year any time soon.

Adding another factor to the family drama is Ares (Edgar Ramirez) a demi-god, who betrays Zeus, his father, to assist Kronos and Hades. Yep — daddy issues.

Honestly, what is wrong with these people/gods? I wouldn’t be complaining if Liam Neeson was my dad.

Any way, as per usual, the only one who can save the day is Perseus. Cue Pegasus, a triad of weapons, and some surprisingly decent sidekicks and we’re good to go. Princess Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) is brave, likeable and never complains or needs any rescuing. And Agenor (Toby Kebbell) functions well enough as comic relief.

They set out on a quest in which they run into some terribly animated Cyclops’ and a hilarious, almost unrecognisable Bill Nighy.

Sam, or Perseus (how different are they, really?), seems tired, and over it. So am I. I could tell you not to see it but we all know you will anyway.

Besides, who am I to judge? I’m just as much a sucker as the rest of you, clearly.

[Note: Avoid this in 3D, if you can, unless for some reason you prefer a colour palette of dark grey, and … dark grey.]

Jasmine Edwards