When Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44), he was calling his followers into a way of life that feels almost impossible. It is easy to love those who show kindness. It is natural to give back to those who give to you. But what about the person who wounds you with words? What about the family member who never lets go of past wrongs? What about the colleague who undermines you? Here is where the teaching of Jesus becomes not just a command, but a daily invitation to live differently.
Jesus grounded his words in the truth of God’s character. Just a few verses later he said, “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). God’s care is not limited to those who deserve it. Every person receives breath, food, light, and life from his hand. If God does not withhold his care from those who resist him, then you are invited to see others through the same lens.
This does not mean pretending hurt is not real. The psalms are full of cries of pain and anger. “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1). God welcomes honesty about what others have done to you. Yet alongside that honesty comes the call to let love, not bitterness, have the final word.
Loving difficult people does not erase the need for boundaries. Proverbs says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Guarding your heart sometimes means stepping back, limiting exposure, or refusing to allow destructive behaviour to continue unchecked. Jesus himself often withdrew from crowds that pressed too hard (Luke 5:16). Creating space does not contradict love. It can actually protect it.
The danger is when boundaries harden into bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Bitterness takes root when you replay offences and let resentment grow. Love resists that. Even if you must draw lines, your heart can still hold the other person before God in prayer.
Think of the neighbour who always complains. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That may mean offering a kind greeting, even if the neighbour never returns it.
Think of a relative who brings up past failures at every family gathering. Ephesians 4:31–32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness does not mean excusing wrong, but it means refusing to let anger harden into hatred. You may need to limit your time with that person, but you can still pray that God will soften both their heart and yours.
Think of the colleague who speaks poorly of you at work. Jesus’ words echo again: “Pray for those who persecute you.” Your prayer might not change the colleague, but it will change you. It will open your heart to respond with fairness, not retaliation.
There are deeper examples too. Some parents forgive the driver who caused an accident that changed their family forever. Some believers forgive betrayal in marriage or friendship. Others pray for those who mock their faith. These choices echo the cross, where Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Love of enemies is not a small suggestion—it flows from the very heart of the gospel.
You may not feel capable of this kind of love. On your own, you are not. But Romans 5:5 promises, “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Loving difficult people is not about your strength. It is about God’s Spirit shaping you to look more like Christ.
Prayer is where that shaping begins. Each time you lift up the name of someone who hurt you, you release a little of the anger that clings to you. Each prayer hands over the burden to God, who sees and judges rightly. Over time, your heart begins to change.
The challenge of loving difficult people will never disappear. Some days you may stumble back into anger or avoidance. Yet Jesus’ words stand: “Love your enemies.” This is not a command to weigh you down, but a path to freedom.
When you choose love, you step out of the cycle of revenge. You live as a child of God. You begin to reflect Christ, who loved without limit and laid down his life for friend and enemy alike.
As you face the difficult people in your own life, hear again the call of Jesus. Set boundaries that guard your heart. Refuse the trap of bitterness. Pray for those who wound you. And trust that the Spirit of God is at work, shaping you to love as Christ loved.
